The year 2009

2009 have been going very well so far for me. Now I don't want to jinx it or anything, but it really has, and I'm looking forward to continue the year with the same perspective. I've taken the opportunity for the new year to change who I am and to be a better person both inside and out. Last year was not so great. I was always sad, depressed, and stressed out for any reason that comes upon me. And for those reasons, my body reflected on it, and I gained a significant amount of weight and I was very unhappy. So when 2009 came, I had to change. I began to exercise everyday, as well as eat healthier, which affected my personality and mentality. I lost the weight I gained and am continuing it. I've also became a much happier person. I love being happy and I love my life right now. I have so much to look forward to this year. So many things are happening, and I'm extremely excited. My future niece is due very soon, which means I will be taking a trip to NY to visit! Then, my sister's boyfriend is graduating from medical school, so that'll be another trip to either NY or NJ! Then he's going to graduate from Bible School (converting to catholic), so that's another trip to Michigan! Then in the summer, I'm planning to take a trip to Miami for vacation, and then after that, head on over to Texas because my brother is moving there. After all those trips, we may have an engagement party for one of my sister by the end of the year. So that'll probably be a trip to California! I'm extremely excited and cannot wait to take all the those trips and have all the fun I can possibly have. =)

Lent Season

So it's lent season, and you're probably wondering what is lent? In christian and catholic religions, lent is a forty day long season of fasting and praying before Easter. I won't go into deep details of what lent is, and its origins only for religious reasons. But because of my religion, I must participate in this season every year. During lent, it's typical that one must sacrafice something that they're addicted to during the forty day season. This year, I chose to give up chocolate. This is extremely hard for me because I love chocolate. I won't say I'm addicted to it, but I do love it a lot. Even though currently I'm on a strict diet, and I don't eat that much chocolate anyways, it's still very hard to go through the temptations. I was thinking about giving up something as well, but I'm still debating on it. It'll probably end up being Facebook, since I'm always on facebook. But then again, that would be really hard as well because I have the facebook application on my blackberry. The purpose of this is to sacrafice something just like Jesus did when he spent forty days in the desert with no food, and resisted many temptations. It is also a way to cleanse our soul and take away unnecessary things that we accompany everyday of our lives.

Perfect Guy

Is there such thing as a perfect guy out there for everyone? Is there such thing as a soulmate? Well according to my parents, their expectations for their 5 daughters are highly overrated and beyond possible. The "perfect guy" is a tall, Vietnamese, catholic, a doctor, handsome, and knows how to treat a woman. Is there even such thing as a guy out there that's like that? I doubt it. I don't understand why do my parents expect so much when it's not possible. We live in a country that's known for its diversity, and different cultures. Therefore, it's extremely hard to find a Vietnamese guy with all the characteristics. I just wish that my parents could understand that there's no such thing as a perfect guy out there, especially not in today's society. I also don't understand why do they have to choose who we have to date, instead of ourselves. In the longrun, it's us that will be with this guy, not them. So why do they care and why does it matter to them. It's so hard to live with the fact that my parents basically come from a different world, and still lives in the old days with all the traditions. I only wish they could just accept the fact that this country is not Vietnam, and the century has completely changed. Coming from a family with so many expectations is extremely difficult without a doubt =/

Counting down!

Spring break is coming near!! This will be my first college spring break, and I'm super excited. All my other spring breaks were never exciting, because I always ended up working on spring break. Even though I'll work for a little this spring break, I'm still planning to go somewhere, so that'll still be fun. I was planning to go to Miami for the week, but that ended up to be prosponed to the summer. This spring break, I'll be spending it up in Nova (northern va). I'm going to go to D.C, do some shopping, go to Six Flags, explore around D.C, and then head up to Ocean City in Maryland. I've never been there, so I'm sure it'll be an awesome trip. I don't want to get overly excited about this spring break, because half of the time when I do, something bad always happens. Just like how I was excited for Miami. I hope nothing happens, so I can enjoy my spring break. The break that I really need, just to get away from all the homeworks, essays and strenuous studying =)

Why?

Have you ever had a moment when something slipped out of your mouth, and you accidently said something you know you shouldn't have? Then you realize why in the world did you say that. Well it happens to me all the time. For some reason, during a particular time of the month (if you know what I mean), I tend to always say random stuff. I don't understand why, but I do, and I don't like it. I start saying random stuff, and then I completely regret saying it. Then in the end, it's too late to take it back, and I'd have to live with the guilt of saying whatever I said. This happens so much to me, that you'd think I learned from my mistake, but it's so hard to do so. It's just something that I have no control over. Sometimes I feel like someone has taken over my body and controlled it themself. Thus, it's so hard to control what I say during that time. It'd be nice to be able to do so, that way I wouldn't have so much guilt and regret, and deal with the situation of apologizing to the person. So I'm hoping nobody out there is the same way like this, because it's not so great of a feeling =/

My babies

Babies? I have babies? No...I don't have kids just yet, too young for that! =) My babies are my nephews. They are the loves of my life, and I honestly don't know what I'll do without them. They're currently 8 and 6, and they're the most precious thing in my life. Ever since they came into my life, I've changed completely. I've been happier than ever, and much more caring and responsible. Responsible because when my first nephew was born, my brother-in-law was diagnosed with cancer, and so I basically took care of him day and night the first 3 years of his life. Then my second nephew came, and at that time, my brother-in-law was still fighting cancer. While he was fighting cancer, my sister came up with kidney infection. So during that time, I took care of both my nephews. It was a hard time for all of us, but for me, I enjoyed spending quality time with my nephews. I loved watching them grow everyday, and watch their personalities differ each day. Not only did I take care of them since they were babies, but I also potty-trained them. Spending those 3 years with them made me grow closer with them. Now, they're too old to hang out with their aunt, and so I really do cherish those moments when I think about them. As of now, I have a niece coming on the way, and I'm extremely excited. This will be my first niece, so I know I'll be spoiling her a lot. I can't wait to spend time with her and grow a special bond between us two. It'll be a little harder this time because she'll be living in Texas, which is extremely far from me. So I'm hoping we'll still be able to connect and bond as niece and aunt =)

Friends vs. Family

After talking to a friend about my social life, I've come to realize that friends are placed in several different categories. You have your acquaintances (friends you say hi and talk to occasionally), those you hang out also occasionally, friends you hang out regularly, and friends that are your best friends that you are completely comfortable with. After talking with him, I've also realize that I don't have any of those except the first category, and that is acquaintances. They are the ones I see not too regularly, but also only say hi to on campus. Back home, I don't get to hang out much either, because I'm always busy with work, schoolwork, or taking care of my parents. I think the only reason why I don't have close friends nor hang out often as I should be, is because I spend so much time with my family more than with my friends. My family is very close, and we love to spend as much time as we could together. Especially when my sisters and brother comes home from school. My sisters are considered my best friends. Even though they're my family, but they are the ones I could be my crazy, dorky self around, say anything I want, talk to them about anything, and always know they're there for me. Friends come and go, but your family will always be your family no matter what the circumstances are. It hurts me to see my friends go through the pain and stress of loosing their close friends so often, which makes me not want to go through that. Hence, that's why I choose to rather be with my family than friends. So no matter if I don't have close friends like any other teenage do, but I have so something that not many people do, and that is a special bond between my family and I :)

Diabetes

Today, diabetes the most common disease that humans are diagnosed with. Victims of diabetes that are in my family are both my parents. My parents were just diagnosed with diabetes a couple years ago. Although it's minor, it still affects the health and strength of my parents. Both my parents have to take medications everyday, and it's painful to watch them have to do that. Because of the unstable condition of their blood sugar, they have to watch what they're eating constantly. Just a bite of a sugar product, my mom's blood sugar shoots up, and she begins to feel weak. If there's not enough sugar in her blood, then she begins to sweat and also feels weak. Not only does my father suffer from diabetes, but also high cholesterol. It scares me everyday, because you never know when he could have a heart attack from the high cholesterol. These diseases that occur everyday is slowly killing this world, and I start to get extremely afraid that one day, something will happen like that to my family. Therefore, it's no doubt that everyone needs to keep their body healthy, and heart. Always exercise and eat healthy, because one day, you can be a victim of these diseases.

My heroes

When people ask my who are my heroes, I immediately say that my heroes are my parents. My parents have been through so much for the life of my siblings and I. Back in Vietnam, my father was a P.O.W of the vietnam war. It was the captain of the navy and was captured while on mission. As a prisoner for 6 years, he has suffered through numerous of pains and obstacles. Being away from his family, starvation, hard labor, and torture beatings from soldiers. Still today, my father is haunted by the past and lives to tell his stories. One of the stories I specifically could remember is when he was he was in the concentration camps, he received 100 whips from the soldiers, only because he stood up for his friend. My father's courage and strong heart has helped him overcame the pain. While he was in prison, my mother was at home raising their 6 children alone. Without any money, food, nor help from any family member, my mother managed to survive, and better yet, raised my siblings and I to become wonderful children. It is because of my parent's strenght that got me and my family to America today, and being successful in everything that we do. Therefore, my parents are my heros ;)

Snowboarding

My friends invited me to go snowboarding this spring break in Michigan. And I must say that I'm not sure if I want to go. I attempted snowboarding about a couple years ago with my sisters at wintergreen resort. I was extremely excited to go at first because I've never tried it before, but I must say, snowboarding is a lot harder than it looks. You must have complete balance and control when you on the board, and I, myself, do not have either. I came on the board, strapped myself in tightly and was ready for flow with the wind Little did I know, I had completely no control of where I was going. Sliding down the mountains was extremely scary. You begin to feel helpless and you don't know when and how to stop with both your feet strapped on the board. Of course, sliding down the mountain did felt like I was flying, but I honestly don't like like the feeling of not be able to control where I'm going. Hence, I bumped into everything that was in my way. Whether it was people around me, or soft poles that kept align the the slopes. I eventually fell in all sorts of ways, and ended up bruising my back. I finally realize that snowboarding is not my sport, nor will it ever be. It was an adventurous experience, but I will not want to do it again ;)

Playing Piano

You know when you were a child, you've always wanted to play an instrument, only because you liked the way it sounded. Well, when I was a child, I've always loved to play the piano. Even though my parents couldn't afford to give me piano lessons, nor buy me a piano, I still had the passion. I remember how I would always pretend to play piano, even when there was no piano. Looking back at that now, I must've looked ridiculous playing air piano ;) Then 5th grade started, and they offered violin lessons for free at my school. Since it was for free, I decided to give it a shot. I loved the sound it gave, however, I wasn't very much interested in it as I was with piano. I did recitals competitions and all orchestra shows, but I didn't have enough passion about than O did with piano. So when I hit 13 years old, my parents surprised me with the biggest gift I've ever received from them. It was a grand piano. My dad saw how much I loved piano, so he saved up as much as he could to buy me my own piano, and provided weekly piano lessons for me. It was the best gift I've ever gotten from my parents. I took piano lessons for about 3 years, and I must say those 3 years were amazing. Every week, I'd get extremely excited to go to class only because my teacher was awesome. He has taught me a lot about piano, and especially how to listen to the sound through my heart instead of my ears. It's been almost 4 years now since I've taken lessons. It's much harder to keep up with the piano now that I don't have lessons, because the lessons forced me to practice much more before my tests and recitals. Now, I'll only play when I'm free or home from college. Thus, I've lost the touch of playing piano, and I'm not as good as I used to be. I still love it, so maybe one day when I have more free time, I'll take more lessons just to keep me up with it ;)

Soccer

Ever since I was a kid, I loved playing soccer. I could remember back in my childhood, my friends and I would always play soccer behind the house in the neighborhood. Even though I didn't play so well, I still enjoyed it. Then we moved out of that neighborhood, and then I stopped playing soccer till high school. It was a huge gap between that. The only reason why I stopped was because my parents could have never afforded to put me in a club to play. Then high school began, and I realized that the school's soccer team was in need of players. I tried out, and made the team. It felt like I was playing in the back of my house with my childhood friends all over again. Playing soccer brought a lot of happiness to me. It gave me a chance to step outside of my box and feel free. I've always been a stay-at-home girl, who studies or work all the time. But putting aside 3 hours of soccer practice everyday was amazing. When I reached my junior year, I became the soccer captain. Having that kind of leadership and power over the team felt really awesome. I was able to help those in need of improvement as well as build up my self-esteem to become stronger as a soccer player ;)

Why my major?

So in English class, we have a project on our profession, or our major. I'm majoring in Dental Hygiene, so it's difficult to be able to interview someone who is in that profession, especially when I don't know anyone in it. So I started to ask myself why am I majoring in this major? What's so great about it, that it's something I'm studying. Then I realize...my parents. My parents were the one who decided my major, and my career for my future. It's not so great that my parents are the ones that determine my future, but for now, I don't really mind. I don't mind only because I honestly don't have a passion or desire in something. When I grew up, I always wanted to be a lawyer. But thinking about that now, there's no way I can be that. I'm no where near being good at arguing to win a case, nor is my vocabulary so great. So that's not possible. So I guess being a dental hygienist isn't so bad. Although, it's only my backup. According to my parents, I'm suppose to continue in the dental field and become a dentist right after. I don't know about being in peoples' mouths all day, but it shouldn't be too bad after you get used to it? It's not so great of a job, but the pay is good ;)

Lotus Foot

So I learned something extremely interesting in Asian History last week. It really caught my attention, as well as the entire class. The lotus foot. Now, you may be thinking, what in the world is a lotus foot? The lotus foot was brought up in ancient times in China. Back in the days, women would bind their feet extremely tight in order to make them tiny. By wearing the bindings, their feet would slowly break and go in different directions to fit into the bindings. Their arch would completely break, which leaves the heel and toes. Because the bindings were drastically small (like a baby's shoe), the toes would curl under the foot. Looking at the top view of a lotus foot, all you'd see is foot with no toes and no arch. My professor said this was done back in the nineteenth century, because back then, during intercourse, the men would stick the women's feet in their mouths. If it was too big, it wouldn't be possible to do, therefore, the lotus foot was created. I was completely disgusted by this, as well as interested. The women wouldn't be able to walk anywhere nor do anything because of the pain, and the fact that theres no arch for balance. It's amazing to learn the things people do back then. Especially in different countries. If you have time, google lotus foot and take a look at the pictures. You'd be surprise of what you'll see ;)

Being happy

As I start to grow older, I start to realize that life is getting shorter by the minute. Of course, we all know that life can end anytime, and we must prepare ourselves for that. But I never put it into mind how serious it is, until recently. Throughout my life, I've been living with very low self-esteem and low confidentiality. I've never thought highly of myself, because I knew that I had nothing to show off for. The low self-esteem and low confidence in myself led me to always be depress and stressed. I was always sad, and I never understood why. Now, at the age of 19, I began to realize that I need to change. Change for the better. Going into my 20s, I want to be a totally different person. The person whom I've eager to be all my life. And that is a happy, positive attitude girl. I can honestly say that I am at that point today. With the help of exercising constantly, which releases my stress, and leaving the relationship I was in recently, I've become a much happier person. The relationship I was in brought a lot of drama and sadness in my life. Even though it was love, it was just not healthy for my mentality. Therefore, I had to end it because I just did not want to live like that anymore. So now, I'm just a happy girl. You'll always see me smiling, laughing, or just enjoying life. If something bad does happen, I'll try to twist it around and turn it into a positive situation. Life is short, and there's no time for depression or sadness in it. Enjoy it while it lasts, because you'll just never know when the day may come ;)

My job

I consider myself a very shy person when it comes to meeting new people. However, when I'm eager to meet a particular person, I would definitely approach that person, and try to get to know him/her. The place where I meet the most people and all kinds of people, would be at my job. I work as a nail technician, therefore, I come across numerous of people each day. Each client has their own personalities, and I find it very interesting. Some may be the nicest people ever, and some can be incredibly rude and disrespectful. It's amazing how there's such varieties of personalities in this world. Especially, from just a small business. Working as a nail technician has its advantages and disadvantages. For example, the advantages could be knowing someone who could help you in education-wise. One of my clients work as Dental Hygienist, and she offered me the position of shadowing her at her work. This helps me significantly, because I'm majoring in Dental Hygiene. The disadvantages would be coming across clients that seriously gives you a hard time. The opportunity to be able to talk to all kinds of people is pretty awesome I must say. I enjoy my job, even though it has its bad features ;)

No fair!

Have you ever been in a situation where you've worked so hard on something, and a friend puts absolutely no effort the work, yet manages to receive a higher grade on it. Well if you haven't, you're in luck. Because I've been through it so many times throughout my education career, that it's really getting to the point where I'm extremely frustrated and confused. Back in high school, I remember being in English class with the valedictorian of my class. She and I were very good friends, but the only thing that kept us from getting along half of the time was the fact that she would always get higher scores on schoolwork than me. Especially when it comes to essays. I would work on it day and night, dedicating myself to try to make the essay perfect, where she on the other hand, would "bs" the essay the night before, and even finish it up beginning of class, and end up with the higher score than me. It really annoys me. Not only on essays, but also on tests. So I'm thinking from now on, I should try and "bs" on essays, and maybe not even study for anything, and just maybe, maybe I'll end up with a higher score. Yeah right, that's not possible for me. Instead of passing with a high score, I'll be the one with failing grade ;)

Childhood

So recently, I met my friend whom I've known since I was a kid after many years of separation. He left awhile back, and we've stopped contacting each other for a really long time. Meeting him again brought back so much memories, like a huge flashback to the good old days when we were just little kids. We started talking about our childhood memories, and how we spent everyday enjoying life. We both grew up in a well-known neighborhood back in Virginia Beach called Twin Canal. Twin Canal was the place where all the Vietnamese families who just came to America would go to because it was own by the government, and the rent was affordable for us. So at twin canal, all the Vietnamese families knew each other, and all of the children would play with each other everyday. Everyday was a new adventure for us, and it was always something I'd look forward to after coming home from school. Back then, I had nothing to worry about. I didn't have to think too much, never stressed out, and no drama. Everything was carefree, and it was just the best. I remember always playing soccer, kickball, frisbees, jumpropes, hide and seek, and any activities you could name. We would stay out past dinner time, just looking up at the moon and telling stories. My childhood was amazing, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I'd do anything to relive those moments, however, in reality, there's no such thing, and we must live for the future ;)

Why do people do crazy things?

I know this incident has happen awhile back ago, but it still haunts me and surprises me of the fact that how can people do such things. What happened at Virginia Tech several weeks ago is unbelievably crazy. For those that have not known about it, an international student at Vtech got decapitated by a guy she's only known for 2 weeks. The reason was never proposed, but if you think about it, what other reasons can there be? The girl has only known this guy for 2 weeks, it's not like it could've been a jealous situation. It's just really stupid that this guy who's known to be intelligent, respectful can do this Even worse, now the girl has to be brought home to her family in China, decapitated and buried innocently. It just breaks my heart. Not only is her family affected by this situation, but also the student body at Vtech. Still recovering from the traumatic massacre 2 years ago, another traumatic scene comes up again like this must be really hard to intake for these students. By reading the newspaper or just watching the news on tv, you'll see that there would always be a person killed or injured for stupid reasons. I ask myself everyday, "why do people do crazy things?" Do they not think before they act? It's amazing what goes through ones mind to be able to do such things like this. How could you be able to hold responsiblity and live with the fact that you took away innocent lives? ...:/

Too much pressure

Growing up in a family with children consisting of 5 girls and 1 boy is pretty difficult when it comes to education. Coming from a foreign country to the land of opportunities was a huge struggle for my family and I. We came here with not one word of English nor any knowledge of what life is like here at America. It was the toughest phase that my family had to go through together. Yet we overcame it and proved to everyone that working together as a family is well-worth the struggle. Besides the obstacle of settling down in an entire different world, education was a huge priority in my family. My siblings and I were taught that education is an essential now that we live in America, because education would have never been offered if we still lived in Vietnam. Therefore, throughout our life here at America, my siblings and I were pressured into doing well in school and one day have a career in the medical field. The pressure was set off when my oldest sibling, my brother, graduated from medical school 4 years ago with highest honor in his class. Knowing the fact that my brother came here when he was 18 years old, not knowing any English, yet still managed to become a doctor in 2 fields with highest honor, makes my sisters and I even more pressured. Now, we all have to follow my brother's footsteps and succeed 10 times more than he did because of our advantage of knowing English better than him. Currently, my oldest sister graduated as a respiratory nurse. The sister after her is in her 3rd year in medical school. The sister after her is in her 2nd year in medical school. And the sister after her is getting ready to start pharmacy school in the fall. That leaves me as the baby, to succeed as a dentist. So as of right now, I have a lot of pressure put on my shoulders to do well in school and accomplish more than my siblings do, because I grew up here longer than they did. It's not a good feeling, but it's a goal that I would definitely like to accomplish in life ;)